An unfortunate side effect of parenthood is its tendency to introduce character flaws you never knew you possessed. Averi has given me insight into a peculiar flaw that rather disturbs me: I found out recently that I am prejudiced against weird people. Oh sorry - let me be more politically correct: I am prejudiced against people who are a little "off."
A situation will illustrate.
I am one of the Laurel assistants in my ward and am supposed to attend Mutual every Wednesday. Since Averi is so little and there are horrible sicknesses running rampant around members of my ward and community, I forbade any non-mothers to hold her until she at least gets her first round of shots. (At least, that's what I told the young women. I fully intend to wait until summer...or longer...for them to even breathe within a 5-foot radius of her.) On a particular Wednesday as we met for opening exercises with all of the youth, I sat down in the front row and held Averi close to me to prevent the mob from mauling her. Behind me, a redheaded Beehive (a 12 or 13-year-old girl) leaned in towards my back and squealed, "Oh, she's so cute." I smiled and pulled my baby closer.
Awkward pause.
Baby voice: "SOOO cute."
Me: "Thanks!"
Redhead with large glasses and European side satchel: "I want to hold your baby."
Surprised by this bluntness, I said, "Oh no, sweetheart, I can't let anyone hold her. I need to make sure she stays healthy!"
Redhead, leaning back into her chair: "Okay." HACK, HACK, COUGH, SPUTTER, BLECH.
I was horrified at the sounds emitted from this barely teenage girl and even more horrified that she wanted to hold Averi only to hack all over her. Great. I realized shortly after I got over the noises that I was holding Averi so close that I was probably suffocating her.
Some might chalk this up to a normal 12-year-old social interaction since they are still learning proper social skills, but you would have had to see this girl interact on several different occasions as I have to form an opinion that she is a little "off." Sweet, I'm sure, but "off." See? Prejudiced. I'm horrible.
Carrying this experience with me, I attended a Cub Scouts Blue and Gold dinner with my family because Casey was a scout leader in charge. At one point, I needed to take care of Gavin and prevent him from running up to Casey as he handed out awards and conducted ceremonies, and as some of you know, that kid is SOLID and it took basically my whole physical strength to hold him on my lap. Unfortunately, Casey had been holding Averi because she was getting a bit fussy, and when his part suddenly came up in the program he hastily looked around and handed her to a woman I didn't know. Knowing how I would feel about this, he looked at me quickly as he walked to the front of the room and mouthed, "It's Sister Sprunt. I trust her."
I was only slightly relieved, but trying to be less uptight about oh, just about everything, I consented. For sure, the woman was enamored with my baby (but let's be honest - who isn't?) and was obviously a mom herself and probably a grandma.
Okay, Brittny - breathe. It's okay. She probably doesn't have ebola. SARS? No.
About a minute later, a large noise made by the 11-year-old scouts collectively startled Averi to the point that she started to cry, and Sister Sprunt abruptly took her into the hall. I appreciated the gesture and didn't think much more about it.
Soon it was time for me to gather my babies and go home because the events of the evening were lasting quite a bit longer than we anticipated. I told Gavin to stay sitting in the chair and went out into the hall to retrieve Averi.
To my absolute horror, the following scene met my good eye: the redhead girl was holding Averi, surrounded by a crowd of admirers who were ready at any moment to poke and prod with snotty, germ-infested fingers. Sister Sprunt was there "supervising," but who in the name of Willie Wonka gave her permission to pass my baby around like a bag of Cheetos??
With my arms outstretched in zombie fashion, I literally grabbed my baby from the arms of strangeness and turned around, nearly deaf to the "ooohs" and "ahhs" and "your baby is so cute" comments. I put Averi in the car seat, grabbed Gavin, and shakily headed for the car.
Why was I particularly sensitive about this girl holding my baby? Was it because I didn't really know her? Was it due to the hacking and coughing of a few days earlier that may indicate she wasn't completely healthy? Could it have something to do with my preference that more experienced individuals hold such a tiny baby? Maybe. The biggest reason, though, is this: I didn't want her to hold Averi because she is WEIRD. I mean, "OFF."
I feel just awful about the way I think about this girl. I plan to spend a lot of time in study, prayer, introspection, and conversation with this girl so that I can get over what is clearly the most ridiculous and horrid prejudice. She's probably a lovely girl with innocent intentions and a few social flaws that I have no business judging her for.
The next time she asks to hold Averi, I will still say no, but I'll do it with more understanding. And a lot more hand sanitizer.
12 years ago
3 comments:
She's a GINGER!!! You are totally justified! Although, my child does look similar to a "ginger", he doesn't have that flamin' red hair that can freak people out. I'm tellin' ya, Britt! You made a wise decision. If you don't know what a "ginger" is, just look it up on YouTube under South Park Gingers or something like that. I know, I'm horrible. I already know that I'm going to Hell. What do you do?!?! I do remember feeling the same way when I was going through chemo. I didn't go to church for quite some time. I was in constant panic mode thinking that someone would cough/sneeze on me, go to the bathroom and not wash their hands and wipe their potty hands on me, or that some kid in primary would wipe their germ-infested booger on me. So, you're thoughts and actions seem perfectly logical to me! BTW - Your baby is absolutely ADORABLE! I could just hold her and squeeze her and just get my germs ALL over her! No, just kidding! Other than that, I hope that all is well. You look so happy.
Much love,
Meagan Vaughn-Johnson
I don't blame you a bit. And if I'm ever holding someone else's baby, I will be the one and only to hold it. When my boys were small, and remind you being preemies, they were small, we always had a blanket covering them and the little infant "paddles" on their hands. However, just to remind you, you already have a big germ carrier in your home....Gavin because he goes to nursery! I think we've bought stock in Bath and Body Works hand sanitzer! Good luck to you. She'll be fine! Love to all of you!
Ha ha ha!!!! I am literally laughing out loud right now. I had no idea that one of my Beehives could instill such fear in the heart of a grown-up. You'd better be nice to me, because if you're not, I'm going to tell that you want her to BABYSIT!!
P.S. By the way, I totally agree with this entire post.
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